I cannot believe it's been almost two months since my last post. It just goes to show how busy we have been and how tired we still are. I still plan on doing a recap of the second part of 2012, but not tonight. Tonight I have too many other things on my mind. Some of this will be vague, and for that I apologize, but there is really no way around it.
Jaxson will be 9 months old in less than two weeks. I can't believe it. Sometimes I forget how old he really is because his development is so far behind. Although his therapists and doctors are extremely happy with his progress. He has exceeded all of the goals they have set for him and they've had to come up with new plans earlier than expected. Which is great news as far as learning what his eventual cognitive ability will be. He has the ability to learn, and he has the desire to try. He's not sitting up 100% yet, but he's close. He loves to spend time rolling around on the floor and attempting to crawl. He does this adorable thing where he rocks back and forth for a little while and then throws his arms and legs out in an attempt to move forward. He generally moves an inch or so and gets so mad when he can't move farther! He's got some thick-headed stubborn genes in him from both sides, so I have no doubt that he'll figure it out soon. His feet are continually flexed at a right angle still and it's starting to worry me. He hates having his feet pointed down, no matter how much we stretch his ankles and legs. And he prefers to stand over sit. If he's in his jumper or his exersaucer he can stand without holding on to anything. I honestly think he'd have a better shot at walking over crawling, but it's good for them to learn both so we are encouraging it. Oh and he's starting to babble a little! He tries to say mama but he can't string together two syllables yet, so it comes out "Ma". And his laugh is the most adorable thing on the planet! Sometimes it's hard to make him laugh, even though he splits his face open with a grin, but if you can get him going it's hysterical. I can't help but laugh with him, especially because what he thinks is funny is always the oddest thing! He loves to be played with and all of his toys go straight to his mouth. I'm sure he's got a tooth cutting, it will be number 2! He cut his bottom left front tooth a few weeks ago and I'm positive that another one is about to break through. We started solids and are trying to push them as much as we can because they want him off of formula by the time he's a year old. I have no idea how that's going to happen. These dieticians should try to feed him! OT helps, but you can only do so much before a child has to help. But they said we could start a sippy cup now too, so maybe if we get him in the habit of bringing his hands to his mouth and something going in there then he'll be more amenable.
On the medical side, Jaxson had his tubes put in in January. He has his spinal surgery next Friday and will be in the hospital for 2 days. He has a sleep study this weekend (I'll get to that) and they should be doing a follow up ABR (hearing test) when they do the spine surgery next week. The cleft repair will take place most likely in July. He has a vision screening in May (finally) and they are keeping an eye on his head because it's not growing as much as they think it should. They told us when they did his skull surgery that there was a chance they'd have to repeat the surgery, so we knew this could happen. It's just hard to know what they are looking for. I think his head should be growing at each appointment because Jeffrey's did, but Jeffrey didn't have nearly as many appointments as Jaxson has so I have no idea. Jaxson also has a follow up with Urology in about three weeks for them to check his kidney and make sure everything is okay with it.
Now for the sleep study. I've done a ton of research on how much a baby is supposed to sleep. Of course, all babies are different, but there's a general rule of thumb for most ages. At Jaxson's age, most babies sleep about 14 hours in a 24 hour period and 5 or more hours at a stretch. I took Jaxson to the doctor last week specifically to address his lack of sleep. Our concern was not for us, although it is very wearing, but that Jaxson wasn't getting enough sleep overall. After going through his daily routine with the doctor, I was told that Jaxson sleeps about 4.5 hours in a 24 hour period. We're lucky if he sleeps longer than 2 hours at night. It's awful. I'm tired. I can't drop this pregnancy weight. Jayson is tired. Jaxson is tired, but he's generally a happy baby and Jeffrey is just Jeffrey. You would never know that anything bothered Jaxson, though. He's such a happy boy and always smiling. He is kind of needy in how much attention he demands, but when it comes to that smile I think we'd do anything.
The problem with that is the affect it has on Jeffrey. Honestly, I think that Jayson and I do a fantastic job of making sure that Jeffrey is entertained. It will be easier when the weather warms up so he can play outside, but for now we make sure that we play with him and give him attention. But for whatever reason, Jeffrey just can't handle when someone has Jaxson. He wants to be right up in our business, sometimes he helps and we let him, but sometimes he's trying to get us to do something and it's clear we cannot. He's started backtalking and ignoring things we tell him. None of that goes unpunished, but I hate yelling at him. He's such an adorable little boy and he is literally the light in my eyes. The highlight of my day is walking through the door and hearing him running through the house screaming, "Mommy! Mommy you're home!" And throwing his arms around my legs before I can take 2 steps. Between him and Buckeye it's a job to get my coat off when I get home, and I wouldn't change it for anything. I do worry about Jeffrey. He needs socialization and he needs education. He's the smartest 4 year old I've ever seen and I want to encourage that and build on it. And he has this way of reminding you that everything is going to be okay. Sometimes he has days where he just chills out and sits with you and randomly says, "I love you" all day long. And it's the sweetest, most heart-warming thing on the planet. I just want to squeeze him! He's getting so big so fast and I feel like I'm missing it. He does something new every day, says a new word or learns how to do something by himself. So when he has nights like tonight (he peed on the floor in his bedroom on purpose, but I did not catch him), I just don't understand. I know he's 4 and he's going to have good days and bad days, but it makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. So wrong that Jeffrey feels the need to act out just to get my attention. And I don't know how to fix it.
Well, I guess it's not something that will be fixed any time soon anyway. I have so much going on outside of work that I barely have time to think, let alone adjust any of my actions to accommodate a 4 year old who is throwing a fit because I won't let him have any more juice. Once some of this alleviates (hopefully in a few short months) then he'll get all the attention he can handle and then some. This is the vague part :) There are some big things coming up for the Burks family and I cannot wait until it's all completed. We are very close to achieving a huge goal and then things are going to be a little bit easier for us. I can't wait!
And now I have to go feed Jaxson. He got a little off-schedule today because Jayson had to drop me off and pick me up from work, so we pushed his dinner back. I hope I can make it through his feed without falling over. And I hope Jaxson makes it through without waking up! Fun at COSI with my niece tomorrow, so sleep would be preferable!
