Kelvin Moon Loh's Reaction to Autistic Child's Outburst During Performance Needs to Go Viral

Jax and I at the park.

Normally, this blog is reserved for updates on Jaxson and other things that happen in our family. Today, though, it's going to be something different. I want the whole world to see this, so please share this and make it known that acceptance of people regardless of ability is paramount in keeping this world a safe place for our special needs community.

Yesterday, a friend of mine shared a post written by Broadway actor Kelvin Moon Loh. He's part of the cast of The King and I tour, which just ended in August. My mom and I went to see it this year when they were in Columbus, and it was a fabulous performance!

Apparently, at one of their shows in February 2016, there was an autistic child in the audience. During the whipping scene, which could make a "typical" kid cry, the child shrieked. The audience grumbled. Mom had to remove her son from the theatre in order to calm him down. This is Kelvin's response to what happened that night. Please read it, I will not copy and paste the text to here due to copyright laws. But you need to read it in order to understand the rest of this post.

I'm not familiar with most Broadway actors despite loving the art. I'm just not good with names in this case, there are far too many people involved in these productions to keep track. That said, I now have a high level of respect for Kelvin Moon Loh. He came out in DEFENSE of this mom, put into words almost exactly what that mom would have been thinking. And if you check out his Facebook page, you'll see that he is STILL talking about inclusive theatre!

Jaxson performing at Cleveland 2018

As the mother of a special needs child, his response and his efforts to make theatre inclusive really
makes me warm and fuzzy. Jaxson may not be autistic, but there are plenty of Kabuki kids who ARE autistic. And these are kids with a disorder named after Japanese theatre makeup. They love music, singing, dancing and most of them enjoy being on stage. If you've followed Jaxson at all, you know he LOVES to entertain. He will bust out in a song at any moment of the day, no matter what he's doing or who is around. When we were at the event in Cleveland, he wanted to be on stage and sing "karaoke" (I used my phone for music, he knows the words!) so I let him. And he wasn't the only one.

What people need to understand is that these kids have their own loves, their own desires and things they enjoy. We, as the human race, need to stop getting pissy because someone else's kid isn't acting the way we think they should. Or because they're disturbing a performance. Or making a scene in the grocery store. Or if they're being combative and require restraining. We, as a human race, need to understand that the kids (and sometimes adults) who act this way literally have no control over their behavior. They don't WANT to act like that, they WANT to enjoy themselves in whatever they are doing. They are PEOPLE.

I'll be honest, I didn't take Jaxson to the movie theatre until he was 5 because I was concerned about how he would do. I didn't want him to disturb other viewers, and I didn't want to have to leave because he was done and causing a scene. He's not autistic, but he has behaviors. So many special needs kids have sensory things going on, and certain things they see can trigger a negative reaction. Whether it be the whipping scene in The King and I, the bright lights at the grocery store, the sight of a needle for a blood draw, loud noises, or any other number of triggers. I never really thought of it as a fear, I thought of it as being considerate. But looking back, I see that it WAS fear. Fear of judgement, fear of things going poorly, fear of having to get in someone's face because of their reaction to my son. As I type this, I realize that some of those fears still exist. Jax doesn't have a lot of behaviors, but if it gets uncontrollable, it's extremely difficult to calm him down without removing him from the room.

So I ask you a couple of things today:

1. BE KIND! You don't know anyone esle's situation, you don't know what triggers their kids have (special needs or not), you don't know what amount of fear and anxiety they had to overcome just to show up at an event or function.

2. Be helpful, not judgmental. When you inevitably witness a meltdown or a mom struggling to calm her child down, don't judge! If you don't feel comfortable walking over and offering assistance (not all situations are good for this), just smile kindly and keep moving. Don't stare. Don't take photos or videos. Don't talk about the incident as you're walking past it. If you have kids with you, educate them on why staring isn't nice, that they wouldn't someone staring at them in the same situation.

3. SHARE KELVIN's STORY! Make his note viral. Make this blog viral. Bombard FB and Twitter with his letter. The more people who see it, the more people are likely to understand and accept.

Jax showing of his rockstar side.
He belongs on stage!!

This isn't just about acceptance, its about advocacy. Don't shame us into keeping our kids home because they might bother you. Everyone pays the same price to attend movies and performances. Don't belittle someone for trying to get their kid out of the house and enjoy some culture!

I'll tell you one thing I've learned from this: I will no longer fear people's reactions. I will no longer worry about what others think of my son if he has a meltdown or has to be removed from a room. I will not let other people dictate what my son is and is not allowed to do. He's just like any other kid, with likes and dislikes, desires and goals. My confidence in bringing him to events has increased over the last few years anyway, but now it's time to put the rest of those fears to bed.

Remember to stand up, and if you can't stand up, stand out! Be the relief that mom needs. Be understanding. Be loving. And most of all, be kind.


"Life is not the way it's supposed to be, it is the way it is. It's how you cope with it that makes the difference." -Unknown