Welcome

Welcome to Jaxson's Ride. Please visit the "About" section to be brought up to speed on why this blog exists. For me, as a writer, this will be a place where I can discuss how I'm feeling and update people about what is currently happening in our lives and the life of baby Jaxson.

For today, there's not much to report. I go twice a week for non-stress tests to make sure that Jaxson is doing okay. Those tests are due mainly to him being so small. I'm not overly concerned about his weight, though. Jeffrey was just over 6 pounds, Jayson was a 6 pound baby and I was 5 pounds. Jayson and I were never going to have big kids, so I'm not overly concerned about his weight, but I am going to the tests as I should to ensure that there are no problems that come up unexpectedly. We go next Thursday for a growth check to see how Jaxson is doing and make sure he's still growing.

As far as his heart goes, there are still a lot of unknowns. So I will tell you what we do know. I'm scheduled for a C-Section on July 17th. As long as Jaxson isn't in any distress, we will get to see him and hold him for a minute before he's taken to the NICU at Riverside for an evaluation. After the evaluation is complete, Jaxson will be transferred to Nationwide Children's Hospital for a more in-depth evaluation. I am told he will be brought to my room before he leaves so that I can say good-bye as I will be in the hospital recovering for a few days. Jayson will go to Children's with Jaxson and hear the doctor's report on what our next steps will be. While the doctor's will not diagnose anything at this point, I am told that it is very likely Jaxson will require at least one surgery on his aorta. Worst case scenario is Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome, which requires three surgeries, but it doesn't look like that's the case for now. Regardless, the one surgery he is likely to require will take place in his first week of life.

My biggest concern is being away from Jaxson when the initial evaluations are taking place. I will be stuck at Riverside healing from my own surgery when the doctors at Children's are evaluating Jaxson and determining the course of action that will be taken. He's going to have a slew of doctor's that I won't get to meet or talk to for days. I am comfortable with Jayson handling the situation. He's strong. He can make decisions. But I'm his mom. I should be there. I am also comfortable with the level of care that Jaxson will receive at Children's. It's one of the top Children's hospitals in the country, and Dr. Weller is one of the top doctors in his field. I trust him and I'm sure I'll trust the other doctors once I meet them. I just know the first few days of being away from Jaxson, combined with the emotions of giving birth in general, are going to be very difficult for me. I will have the support of my family, and I know I'll have plenty of company and visitors to distract me. But it doesn't take away from my need to be there for my baby and protect and love him as only a mother can.

For the time being, this blog is going to be a place where I can go over my feelings. Anyone reading this who knows me, knows how difficult it is for me to talk about my feelings. But you also know how easy it is for me to write things down. I will update with information on Jaxson as it comes and attempt to at least post how things go at each appointment until he is born, but this is mostly a place where I can put my feelings down and make sure they aren't bottled up only to explode later. I appreciate the love and support I've received from everyone so far. I've been overwhelmed by the outpouring of emotion I have received and know that I will continue to receive. Thank you to everyone from the bottom of my heart.