Mish Mash

I didn't quite know what to title this post because its going to have lots of different stuff in it. First, I'll do Jaxson's update since that's what most everyone wants to hear about anyway.

Jaxson is not interested in taking a bottle. The occupational therapist is going to come back again today and we're going to keep trying to present it to him, but it seems like the extra challenge is too much for his little body. Whenever the bottle is presented, his respiration goes up even more, he starts to get a little sleepy and he wiggles his head around. It's not abnormal for a baby to reject an extra challenge if they think their body can't handle it, it's just kind of furstrating because he won't be able to come home until he eats. He needs to calm his breathing down too. They've lowered his flow and he's no longer receiving extra oxygen, which is good, but his respirations are still high. It's nothing they are worried about, it's just that because he was early and he was a C Section, he still has some extra fluid in his lungs that makes it a little more difficult to breath. The doctors are confident it will correct itself, so if we can get him off the flow he'll be good to go. The last piece of information for him is that he had a spinal ultrasound two nights ago. His spine is tethered at the end insead of straight, which will affect his ability to walk if it's not fixed. I know absolutely nothing else about it, except that we have to meet with a neurosurgeon to discuss surgery when Jaxson is 6 months. The surgery will likely take place around that time as well. So that's two surgeries this little guy is in for when or consider the cleft that will be repaired around 2 years of age. The there's the possibility of a third. Jaxson will have an MRI done on his skull before he leaves to see if his bones are fused together. If not, awesome. If so, surgery because it will hamper brain growth.

But it's still not all bad. Jaxson doesn't need heart surgery. At least not in the immediate future. His brains scans look great as far as functionality and everything else seems to be in order. He's eating every three hours through his feeding tube and they're slowly upping his food intake so the PICC line can be removed. He's improving every day and he looks healthier every day. He's a little wiggle worm when we do kangaroo care and always wants to look at mommy. He has a tendency to rip out his oxygen/flow tubes from his nose and I'm quite sure he'd rip outhis feeding tube if it wasn't taped in. He's got his daddy's attitude and his mummy's body. And he's perfect. And he's loved by so many people on so many levels. I just know he's going to be okay.

And then there's Jeffrey. I seriously could not ask for a better child! He has been absolutely amazing since Jaxson was born. He gets a little fussy and wants a little extra attention here and there, but he's otherwise his usual chipper self, full of attitude and hilarity. There is only one way anyone outside the family would ever know that Jeffrey is anxious or stressed: his stutter. He started it a couple of months ago and while he has good days and bad days, it's definitely gotten worse. Thankfully, my best friends mom is a speech therapist. She said it will go in cycles and it's absolutely normal for him to have extra issues right now while things are crazy. I do worry about him though because he's so much like me. Mr. Independent. He can do anything by himself and nothing is ever wrong with him. He will occasionally ask for me or Jayson so sit with him or play with him because he wants our attention, but he mostly plays with Buckeye and keeps to himself. I just worry that he's not handling this as well as it appears. Not that I think there will be irrepairable damage, but I don't want him to forget that mommy and daddy love him just as much as we love Jaxson. I'm hopeful that Jaxson will get to come home by next week at the latest and then we can get both boys on a schedule and back to normal.

On a completely different note, I have to say that Jayson and I are capable of anything when we do it together. I miss him every day when he goes to work or he stays home with Jeffrey while I sit with Jaxson, but we make such a fantastic team. And our relationship is doing nothing but getting stronger. I can totally see how something like this would strain a marriage and drive people apart, but not us. He does such an amazing job of taking care of me, Jeffrey, the dog and the house. Not to mention spending time w it's Miachael too. I know he's got to be tired but you would never know it to see him. He always says that he needs me to be his strength, but I don't think he knows how much I need him to be mine. I couldn't imagine going through this with someone else and both of us making it out alive.

With everything that's going on, I still have good days and bad days. Today is as good day, yesterday was a little tougher. But I can rest easy knowing that I have an amazing family, including the strongest, bravest three year old ever, and a fantastic support system that helps us with whatever we need. Now it's time for Jaxson to work so we can get him home!