Today's post is going to be a little different. I know this blog is supposed to be about Jaxson and how he's doing, but I have so many other things going on that I just need an outlet today. Before I get into the rest, Jaxson is doing fine. There's nothing new to report today, but I may have some changes to share tomorrow. He has a new neonatologist on his new floor, so she's going to get all of his information together and come up with a plan to get Jaxson home. We're still looking at AT LEAST two more weeks, but I'll know more tomorrow.
So I'm going to start at the beginning. And this dates back a few weeks, so bear with me. On June 28th, Sam was in a car accident. She was hit by a double-trailer semi while merging from one highway to another. Her car is basically totaled and she has concussion number 6 along with post-concussion syndrome. She's been ordered to drop her class, no coaching, limited driving, no working out, and extremely limited activity in general. Now, if you know my sister, you know that this is like putting me on bedrest. It's near the end of the world.
Mind you, this happened 6 days before Jaxson was born. And this is where it started. It comes in three's right? Well if you've been reading you already know part 2: Jaxson and his health issues on top of deciding to come a bit early. Nothing to add to part 2 that you don't already know.
Part 3: Sara. She was pregnant at the same time as me. She had it a little tougher than I did, at least physically. She got a kidne infection early in her pregnancy and she just couldn't kick it. So she was on antibiotics and pain meds for a long time. Plus, she had to take Lovenox shots for her clotting disorder and Progesterone to make sure she didn't have the baby early like she did with Lexi. She was uncomfortable, but handling it like a champ. Then, about a week after Jaxson was born, Sara was rushed to the ER with clots. In her arteries, not her veins. You've heard me say before that my family is notorious for stumping doctors, a la Jaxson, and this is another example. S they get some things under control and induce her so that she can be treated properly. Welcome to the world Ariella! Things start to look up, Sara is improving. Then Ariella goes to the NICU due to withdrawals from the pain meds the doctors had Sara on. Okay, it sucks but okay. There's talk over this past weekend of letting Sara come home today. Awesome! Except Sara's body has other ideas. Her hemoglobin plummets and they move her back to ICU yesterday and give her a blood transfusion. Today, her blood pressure plummets. It seems to be stabilizing now, but the doctors have no idea what's going on with her. They are clearly using trial and error to figure it out, which is so frustrating.
My whole family is coming apart. Thank God we're all so close so we can lean on each other, but there's so much going on with each person that it's impossible to lean on someone for everything. For instance, I got the news about Sara's blood pressure while I was at the hospital visiting Jaxson. I have to leave so Jayson can get to work and try to figure out how to get up to see my sister later. I go to give Jaxson one last cuddle and he just drops his head on my chest and conks out. I thought I was going to lose it. My little boy needs me and I had to force myself to put him down and come home because m other little boy needs me. And I don't even have time to process my feelings or think about how Jaxson is really doing today because I'm so worried about Sara. And my parents. And Lexi. And Sam.
Everything is so chaotic right now. I only have time to update this because Jeffrey is down for his nap and Jayson is at work. So all is quiet at my house and I have 30 seconds to think about me. My head hurts and my heart hurts. I feel like I'm being pulled in 5000 different directions and I don't know which is the right one. And I'm exhausted. Did I mention that I'm pumping every 3 hours for Jaxson? I don't get up at night, but I'm getting a maximum of 6 hours of sleep at once, and that's because my body wakes me up. On top of not eating right because until last night there was no food in our house. Every movement is like a chore. I'm sure my iron is low and I'm positive I'm not getting enough calories. I do make sure to stay hydrated, though. Water is easy to come by and usually doesn't cost anything.
I suppose that's it for today. I can't wrap my head around forming a coherent thought, so I need to take a power nap before Jeffrey wakes up. Hopefully that will wake me up too.
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